'hi' to 2010 and goodbye to a loved one

Hi, Everybody.

It's Lillian.

I know .......... it's been two months since I've posted anything on here, and I feel so guilty.

Let me get this out of the way:

'Merry Xmas & Happy New Year'.

I hope that this year brings all that you hope it might, and that God's love rains down on you all.

My christmas and New Year were quite relaxing;
I spent time just writing in my diary, going to church, ignoring Marcus' teasing, avoiding Mum's mollycodling, listening to Patience's gossiping, ignoring Daddy's false promises, watching Jack sneaking in & out, and eating Uncle Seymour's cooking ........ same old stuff, really.

But I think this year promises to be really exciting !

I've just spoken to Mike and Gerrard, and it seems that I've missed a few things;
it seems that they both went up to Manchester, in the mid-December snow, to visit Cheryl Martin (the potential director) for a few day's collaboration on 'Pattie-shop Diaries'.
Apparently, it was the first time that they had all got together to work on the project, and the first oppurtunity for Cheryl to hear the songs.

It seems that the 'creative juices' were really flowing because Mike, after discussing the piece with Gerrard and Cheryl, realised that there was a need for a specific song at a certain point in the script ......... so he woke up in the morning and wrote a 'great new song'.
As it was a 'song for trio', he taught it to Gerrard and Cheryl and after a few 'run-throughs' they all decided that it worked beautifully........ sounds like a great, creative atmosphere !

As Mike had taken his acoustic guitar along, he performed all the songs from the piece (in order), in front of both Cheryl and her visiting musician-nephew.
Apparently, Cheryl was 'pleasantly surprised' at the quality and scope of the 'soundtrack' and, having already engaged favourably with the script, was even more excited by the music.

Bearing in mind her experience, this bodes well for the on-going collaboration, and 'Pattie-shop Diaries' in general.

Mike and Gerrard left Cheryl's place (after a a couple of days) with all parties even more excited and optimistic about the creative aspects of the piece ......... Yay!

Mike and Gerrard then reminded me that a decision from Arts Council is imminent, regarding the funding for the 'Pattie-shop Diaries' 30-minute excerpt/presentation.

They say that, if the application is unsuccessful, the planned presentation will still go ahead,
even if they have to continue to call-in favours from friends and colleagues.
They say that's how things have progressed thus far ('on a wing and a prayer'), so I'm sure that the people who have believed in it up to this point will carry it a little further, if necessary.

Apparently the showcase is already booked and earmarked for:

Albany Theatre, Deptford on May 21st 2010 (time t.b.c.)

They do, however, want the funding to be successful because:

a). they want to pay the actors, director, etc.

b). they want to pay to make a mini-documentary film for use on-line & on dvd,

c). they want to record the soundtrack for use onstage, on-line, & cd, and ......

d). funding would mean that the showcase would look and sound better, making it more likely that potential investors/theatres might take the project further.

It all sounds very exciting, and I can't wait for the news that the proposal has been accepted.
I have faith because I believe God wouldn't have put so much in place for it now to be wasted.

However, in the midst of creation there is demise;

Mike has informed me that his Step-father, Mr. Claudius Leon Phillips (who had been ill for some time and was in England recently), died of cancer early on Tuesday morning in a hospital in Tobago.
Apparently, he was a lovely (and loving man) who enjoyed playing keyboards, singing hymns, laughing, and being in the company of his family and friends.
He was lucky enough to have been loved and taken care of (in his last months, weeks, days, and hours) by Mike's mother, Carmen Phillips.

He told me that their devotion to eachother, in the midst of distress was palpable, and that her blinkered desire to care for him and show him love (both practical and emotional) in his time of need was a lesson to us all.

As I, too, sometimes suffer from pain and discomfort through my sickle-cell (although I acknowledge it is nothing in comparison to what Mike described), my heart goes out to his fallen Step-father, his mother, his brother (Timothy), and all the family and friends that are affected by this loss.

I understand that he was a God-loving christian and I know that he is in the comforting embrace of Almighty God now and forever ...... may he rest in peace. Amen.



Claudius Leon 'Phil' Phillips (29/07/1939 - 09/02/2010)

I understand that Mike is leaving for Tobago next Wedneday, 17th February (for the funeral), and will not be returning until 3rd March.
Well, I wish him and his family all the best and I hope that, upon his return, there will be great news concerning 'Pattie-shop Diaries'.

After all ..........

'The Lord says that he will give us no more than we can bear.'

Mike says that he would like to thank everybody who has helped practically, emotionally, and spiritually since the news was announced, and that the love & support is greatly, and humbly, appreciated (you all know who you are, apparently).

Gerrard will be 'holding the fort' in Mike's absence so I'm sure that, if any decisions need be made (or any information shared), he will step in to do so.

That's all from me (Lillian) for now, but I promise to write more frequently .........
it promises to be a very interesting and exciting year !!!!!!!

Take NOTHING for granted, cherish your Loved & your loves, and remember .........

'If we just sit and wait, nothing changes ........ just the date ! '


Bye for now.

Lillian x x x

Arts Council proposal sent off

Hi, Everyone,

It's Lillian, again !

For those of you hoping for Uncle Seymour ...... SORRY (lol) !
I told him off, and he says that he won't post on my computer again but ...... well ....... we'll see.

Anyway, it seems that Mike & Gerrard have been quite busy.......!

They've only just got back in touch with me to tell me what's been going on with 'Pattie-shop Diaries' and it all looks quite exciting.

Apparently Mike has been busy with his 'Motown/Soul' group: 'The Tops', on a Caribbean cruise, and also a gig in Dubai;
all this whilst his Mother and his ailing Step-Father came over from Tobago for 2 weeks.

Gerrard, meanwhile, was busy finishing a dance tour with a company called 'State of Emergency'.

Whilst dealing with all that, they were also finalising their Arts' Council proposal for a 'research & development' grant to present a 20-minute exerpt of the musical 'Pattie-shop Diaries' early next year.

They told me that they sent the proposal last Tuesday (24th November 2009), and that the Arts Council sent an e-mail confirming receipt of the application 2 days later;
this means that the proposal is 'in the pipe-line' and that, hopefully, in less than 12 weeks time, Mike will be able to start recording the soundtrack and preparations can start for rehearsals !

I CAN'T WAIT !!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to hear the rest of the songs !

I can't wait to see who will play me and my family !

I can't wait to see the rehearsals, and the performance
(Rasconrad will be filming and editting footage of both .... YAY).

I can't wait to hear the dialogue, that I hear every day in my head and in my heart,
spoken out-loud by strangers !

I can't wait to see how strangers react to those words ........ and my history !

I CAN'T WAIT to have my HISTORY be my PRESENT to THE FUTURE !

(Oh, my goodness ............ you'll have to forgive me
I got a little bit carried away, I think .........
a little 'Barak Obama', Uncle Seymour would say ....... lol .......
compose ........ compose ...... lol)

Anyway, Mike & Gerrard seem to have got the proposal and budget locked down sufficiently, as well as assistance from a major theatre in London, and a top director and cast ........ FABULOUS!

Now, we've just got to ......... 'sit & WAIT' until the end of February for a decision (lol).
I'm not very good at 'sitting and waiting' ...... but you probably know that by now (lol).

I guess, when things start moving I can tell the rest of the family about what's going on
(Uncle Seymour is finding it very hard to keep it to himself).

Anyway, I'll be right here ..... church, college ..... church, college .......
just trying to keep sickle-cell ........... and inertia ......... at bay.

Until the next time, Good People .........

Take care.

Much Love

Lillian xxx

Lillian's back again

Hi.
It's Lillian, here.

I can't believe that Uncle Seymour would just sneak onto my computer and write a post.
Don't get me wrong ..... I'm glad that he kept you all informed of what's going on with the 'Pattie-shop Diaries' musical because, I admit, I've been busy with college-work, and church ..... and, ok ....... sometimes I get a little 'run down' with my sickle-cell.

And I guess I was interested to read his story about Mike, Ray Evans, and himself ....... I didn't realise just how many talented people have been lost to AIDS over the years.

I remember that Uncle Seymour's partner, John, went the same way.

He seemed to be ill for ages, and Uncle Seymour spent a long time taking care of him, nursing him, comforting him ...... and finally mourning him.
It certainly gave me an insight into the tragedy of the AIDS epidemic and, because of my sickle-cell, I have a small insight into the matter.

I'm glad that, after all these years, Uncle Seymour seems to be getting on with his life
(after having lost his lover);
I guess talking about people from his past, like Ray Evans, must help ........ I just wish that he didn't have to sneak into my blog to do it (lol).

Anyway, as he's probably told you, Mike and Gerrard seem very excited about 'Pattie-shop Diaries' !!!

They are planning to rehearse and showcase 20 minutes worth of show-material in March next year (in front of an invited audience), in order to attract theatre-venues, and investors.

I think that they want to make sure all those involved get paid, so they have collated lots of seperate budgets from different people in respect to the performers, staging, music, and filming.

This includes the offer of space (and technical support) from a major theatre in London.

They have now drafted a preliminary proposal and sent it to Arts Council, London, and will get the go-ahead to to send it in formally sometime this week.

It will take 12 weeks for Arts Council to come to a decision, so they are looking forward to the Arts Council person getting back to them soon.

It all seems to be moving really quickly ..... I'm getting quite excited.

Needless to say, I will keep you all informed of any new information ......... or at least I'll try to ......... before Uncle Seymour has to unburden his past again.

See ya.

Seymour's 'Pattie-Shop Diaries' funding update

Hi, everybody.

No, this is not Lillian ........ it's SEYMOUR.
I know ........ I know!
You're probably expecting to hear from her but, what with her sickle-cell & her college stuff, she doesn't seem to have the energy or the time to update the blog.

I, on the other hand have time on my hands, and am extremely excited about 'Pattie-shop Diaries' and just what can be achieved by my old friend Mike, and his partner Gerrard.

I remember meeting Mike many years ago;
I remember he found me flouncing around in some old cubby-hole somewhere.
He took a look at me and ...... this is what he tells me ...... immediately tries to set me up with an actor friend of his called Ray Evans.

Ray Evans. Actor/singer/dancer.
Died: 14th August 1999



"You'd be perfect together." he kept telling me.
Now, I had heard of Ray...... his energy and versatility were really something.

I remember he worked on the West End in many productions, as well as on a tv series called 'Star Cops', and I think he was even in one of the 'Superman' films with Christopher Reeves.
He was a great singer, dancer, actor, raconteur, and workshop leader/facilitator.

Yes, we might have worked well together but ...........
unfortunately Ray ......... died!
He died in much the same way as most talented, creative .......... beautiful GAY MEN died in the '80s and '90s ........!

How did Prince put it ?

"......... died of a big disease with a little name."

The name doesn't seem very LITTLE to me.
In fact, it seems to have taken up pretty much my whole life.
So many friends, so many ........... lovers .......... GONE.

I could say that they're not forgotten but, for a while back there, it was like a holocaust for the Gay Community (whatever that is) ...........
And the worst part about it?

Even the survivors don't want to remember, because to remember brings up the PAIN of loss, the PAIN of bereavement, the PAIN of being left alone as your lover dies in PAIN!

But you know what?
I might be getting old but I try to remember those great talented old queens that we all lost all too soon.

I may not shout their names from the rooftops, or scream them from the hills (like Julie in 'Sound of Music'), but I'll be damned if I won't whisper their names in the dead of night when my heart needs light and I need to fight to stay ahead.

I'll remember their faces, I'll remember their laughs, I'll remember the hi-jinks, and the lo-kinks, and the good sex, and the bad examples we would set for the young, cute little things coming through.

I'd remember the coke, and the speed, and the smoke, and the drags, and the fags, and the weed that we'd toke as we'd fall to our knees for some knee-trembling bloke who we'd joke we'd ........remember in the morning.

It's taken me this long to realise:
'Mourning is all ABOUT ......... remembering'.

So I remember Ray......... the one who got away:
I remember his talent ........his joy of life ......... his generosity;

And I remember this mantra, something he used to say to remind people to be happy when all around seemed ruinous decay;

He'd say:

"Whatever good there is to get ........ GET IT & FEEL GOOD !!!!!!!!!"

Ah, yes ....... 'Ray Evans: one in a million ....... & one of the missing'.

Anyway, excuse my reminisces but this is why I'm so happy that Mike is pulling his finger out (on the creative vibe), and that maybe my life will get some glitter & grease-paint again
(instead of fritters and ...... well ...... grease).

Anyway (to keep you all appraised), Mike & Gerrard went to Arts Council offices in London to meet up with the London Theatre officer and the Diversity Officer to discuss a funding application for 'Pattie-Shop Diaries'.

According to Mike, they were very helpful and supportive, and seemed very much to want to see Mike & Gerrard come up with a good proposal in order to give the project some money.

So, what Mike & Gerrard (in consultation with Cheryl Martin the potential director) have decided to do, is seek an Arts Council grant for Research and Development money ('R 'n' D'), in order to rehearse, for 1 week, a 20 minute showcase of 'Pattie-Shop Diaries' for an invited audience of possible investors, partners, and venues.

The amount that they need (based on paying for the actors, director, etc.) means that, if approved, the week 'R 'n' D should take place in early March 2010.

Apparently they are getting lots of help and advice, which should mean they should get through successfully.

Certainly, this director sounds interesting!

Mike seems very excited about her;
she's American, a jazz-singer, a play-wright, as well as an experienced stage director.

She's read the script, likes it, and has come up with some interesting thoughts ........
such as turning it into a radio-play!

(Hmmmmmm.......... I wonder if I could play myself)

Anyway, they're hard at work trying to sort out the budget for the proposal, and they should get an answer in about 12 weeks, or so.

It all sounds very exciting and I don't know how Lillian can keep from writing in this blog.

Anyway, she'll probably get vexed when she sees that I've used her blog but ........
in the words of that young gossip, Patience:

".........THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!"

Bye for now.

More updates for 'Pattie-Shop Diaries'

Hi, everyone.

I'm feeling a little bit bad (with my sickle-cell), but I thought that I'd update you.

Mike & Gerrard have got in touch (following last week's 'Decibel' gathering), and given me news:

They said that a couple of the people from the Arts Council had got in touch, and want to arrange a meeting to sort out funding for 'Pattie-Shop Diaries'.

I think their plan is to get a grant for something called 'R & D' (Research & Development) in order to get the songs recorded and, at least part of, the show rehearsed and ready for an 'invite-only' performance.

I think they are planning to have a meeting with Arts Council in their London offices within the next few weeks, to set those wheels in motion.

Also, the director that they spoke to at Decibel has got in touch with them;
they said that they had sent the songs and synopsis, for 'Pattie-Shop', and she, in turn, has now sent them her c.v., and reviews of her recent work.

They have asked me not to divulge her identity as yet (as conversations are in their formative stages), but she's very experienced, extremely enthusiastic about the piece, and seems to have lots of great ideas.

It all sounds so EXCITING !

Uncle Seymour says that, with 'the arts', you always have to be a little bit cautious but even he's getting quietly optimistic.

I haven't mentioned anything to Mum, Marcus, or Patience yet..........

Mum would say something like:

"......... and who would want to hear about some mad, Black Family in Brixton ?"

Marcus (being so secretive) probably wouldn't want anyone 'knowing his business'.

If I told Patience, the whole world would know anyway ...... she's like the B.B.C. .........
'Brixton Broadcasting Corporation' !

I'm not sure how Dad would take it ...........
I'd like to think that he would be proud but ......... you never know !

I think that I'll wait a while before I tell them.

Anyway ...... hopefully, there'll be lots more exciting things happening soon and, when they do occur, then I might let the family know (as well as you guys).

Now, if only my sickle-cell 'crisis' would calm down ......... !

Bye, All.

Much Love,

Lillian x

Mike & Gerrard's Decibel 2009 Manchester trip

Hi, Everyone.
I'm really excited!
I've just switched on my computer, and I've got a long e-mail from Mike & Gerrard.
They got back last night from 'Decibel 2009', the arts-fair in Manchester.
It seems that it went really well.
This is what they sent me:


'Hi, Lillian.

It's Mike and Gerrard here.

We just want to tell you what happened at Decibel in the last couple of days.

We arrived in Manchester (by train) on Wednesday afternoon armed with our flyers, dvd promos, presentation script, and expectations for 'Pattie-Shop Diaries'.

We (eventually) found the hotel, changed, collected-up our promotional material, and then made our way to the the Town Hall (location for our presentation and the 'central hub' of information for the 'Decibel' team).

We said 'Hi' to the organisers (Natasha, Ruth & Sophiana were especially great), gathered information, had our pictures taken for the 'Decibel Board-of-Fame', and then proceeded to put our leaflets into the 'pigeon-holes' of selected delegates.

(We could see, from doing this, that there were quite a few very interesting-looking potential targets in attendance, many of whom we knew)

We then went off, got some food, and went to see a few performances before going back to the hotel to prepare for the next morning's presentation.

We had decided to use a slide-show and the short trailer (which were on the dvd that The Fabulous Rasconrad had supplied us with), in conjunction with a prepared speech that we were both going to read from.

In the morning, we made our way to the Town Hall @ about 8.30am (our alloted time for presentation was 10.45am).
After a little prep with the technicians, and mediators Natasha Graham & Sarah Holmes(in order to make sure our pitch was under 5mins), we felt we were ready.

The other 3 'pitchers' did their thing and we were last to go.

It was a 'full-house'(about 200 delegates & fellow artists);
we made our way to the front, checked with the techies (so that they could cue the slide-show),started our presentation and then .......

MINI DISASTER (!) ...... the slide-show froze.

We continued (keeping a rueful watch on the projection-screen), and thankfully the
slideshow corrected itself.

We then introduced the promotional trailer and then .....

MAJOR DISASTER (!) ...... the dvd glitched and would not play.'

N.B.
LILLIAN'S NOTE:
UNCLE SEYMOUR ALWAYS SAYS :
'ON STAGE, NEVER WORK WITH ANIMALS, CHILDREN, OR TECHNOLOGY !'
I CAN SEE WHAT HE MEANS, NOW.

'Anyway, after what seemed like ages (probably only about 20 secs), the dvd started working, and all the delegates seemed to really enjoy the trailer;
we completed the speech/request for money & help, and got a huge round of applause.


Gerrard @ Decibel Mancester 2009

Afterwards, we were inundated with people congratulating us on our pitch and offering us help and suggestions.

We had a few theatre/venues wanting the piece, a highly experienced DIRECTOR expressing strong interest, and many people from 'Arts Council' suggesting an imminent meeting to arrange funding.

We were only due to be there for the day, so we had a couple more meetings (not least a long, lovely, & very productive one with the prospective Director), met a few people who have been very helpful in the past (Ben Evans, Raidene Carter, & Felix Cross to name but 3), and then departed for London, arriving back at about 10pm.

Decibel 2009 was (from our viewpoint) very well organised;
big props to all the Decibel- XTrax team who were working so long and well.
Special thanks to Sophiana and Ruth (who were understandably showing signs of 'wear & tear' whilst smiling & keeping everything together).

It was certainly a very good experience for 'biggerthanME' and, we feel, a fruitful and productive turn-of-events for 'Pattie Shop Diaries'.

Needless to say, we shall be following up all these leads and keeping you informed.

Hope you and the family are well.

Speak soon.

Mike & Gerrard. x'


Well, it all sounds VERY exciting.
I've tried to phone Mike & Gerrard to congratulate them, but there's no answer......
maybe they're still sleeping.

Anyway, it looks like 'Pattie-Shop Diaries' might actually get made ...... WOW !

I told Uncle Seymour about the e-mail and he was just interested in whether or not he could get to play himself.
I told him that, maybe he was too OLD to play himself (!) ........
He laughed and suggested that that was MY affliction (not his) and, on the contrary, he'd always been too YOUNG and, furthermore, would continue to be so !

I love Uncle Seymour ...... he's just so DRAMA !!!

Anyway, I've got to go.

I'll let you all know what's happening, in the 'World of Pattie', as soon as I do.

Bye for now.

Much Love,

Lillian x

Mike & Gerrard's prep for 'Pattie Shop' Decibel pitch

Hi, Everyone

It's been a really exciting day (despite the rain).

Mike just called, and he told me the updated news.

He said that he spent the day with RasConrad (who designed the website and directed and editted the trailers), and has come away with a fabulous dvd that has the 'Pattie-Shop' trailer and photo/slideshow on it.

Gerrard & Mike are going to use them to aid in their pitch for 'Pattie-Shop Diaries' when they go up to 'Decibel 2009' in Manchester tomorrow.

'Decibel' is the official annual networking 'trade fair' for the arts, and Mike & Gerrard are lucky enough to have got a 10minute pitching slot.

Anyway, I hope that they can find people to fund, or aid, 'Pattie Shop', and to take it to the next stage.

They certainly seem to be optimistic.

I'm quite excited.

I'll keep you all posted.

Much Love,

Lillian xxx